Time started: 11:47pm

Project: Deleting the stupid links to blogs I’ve never heard of

Time ended: 12:20am

Oh yeah, you want a peice of this? After only 33 minutes of digging through the random babblings of some overly-inteligent programming guru, I finally figured out how to get rid of that stopid Blog roll. The thing was driving me crazy. Seriously, who keeps links to sites they’ve never been to? I’m getting ready to ban links altogether. You know, just wipe them right off of my website. I’ll put some kind of governing php file on here that’ll make every link lead to the same picture of a 400 pound Chinese woman eating apple pie from lower Slovgolia with chopsticks. How’s this for a new tag line: “HAH! You got here, but you CAN’T LEAVE! What’re you gonna do about it?” How does that shake up your spinal cord?

Well, in spite of all the frustration, I think I have learned a very important lesson about php’s. See, writing php files is not exactly like programming a file. It’s more like tricking it… fooling it into doing just what it is you want it to do. I don’t feel like I’m programming a php so much, I’m just there sharing the php experience. And if I can accomplish something while the file is willing, so much the better. I also learned that if you think something’s useless, try deleting it. Then you’ll discover that you still have no idea what it did, but now your website will never work quite right again.

Ok, it’s way past my bedtime. This is officially my first post, and hopefully the first of many.

Remember, php stands for Paranoia/Hysteria Project… and it works.


5 Responses to “Success!!!”

  1. Mr. Green Says:

    LOL…Seriously, I laughed (out loud)! Glad to see you back on the internet, Stephen!

    Of course you could have just deleted the links in your admin area instead of nuking the whole thing link section, but it wouldn’t have been so funny.

    Keep on writing!

  2. Queen Green Says:

    Hey Stephen! Well that didn’t take you long to get up and posting. Please don’t do the Chinese woman thing…the blogosphere is already scary enough. Happy blogging!

  3. Queen Green » A New Sphere of Blogdom Says:

    […] late to, and off-beat enough to keep you laughing. Please take a moment to check out his first blog at!

    Comments » The URI to TrackBack […]

  4. Justicca Says:

    Lol..Nice, the Chinese women thing caught me offgaurd, can’t wait to read more of your thoughts..Keep it up!

  5. woodguy Says:

    I can relate! I’ve gotten rid of obscure files that do absolutely nothing. The only problem is that other things somehow know and decide to go on strike as a result.

    I was also glad to hear you say that it was way past your bedtime – not that I like you being up so late but it’s good to know you DO have a bedtime. What is it by the way?


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