I’ve been chillin here on this oblot spheroid we like to call ‘earth’ for over twenty-three years now. That’s a long time. And of course, I’ve learned a great many things. Most of them, consequently, are inconsequential. An example of said inconcequential learnings are things like words I’ll never use in a sentence (like defenestrate), how many gallons are in 320,000 cubic feet (2.7 million), and how to calculate PI.

But there are many things I have not learned, that perhaps 23 years is more than long enough to learn. Such as how to restrain myself from doing certain things that will do nothing but harm both parties involved, or at the very least, how not to do them again and again. Maybe I could have learned how to treat someone I love. Maybe I should have learned the difference between love and malicious sabatoge, and how to practice one without the other. Maybe I would have been better off learning how to be invisible… how to cope with loneliness… how to pretend I don’t need anybody. Maybe learning that would have kept me from hurting people. Oh but I have learned that… how to hurt people. I know many ways to hurt people, and if I may say so, I’m quite good.

So line up if you want to get hurt. I can bury a dagger in your back faster than you can say “You’re a good friend, Steve”.

Tonight my self-esteem meter is hovering just below “worthless”…

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 15th, 2006 at 9:24 pm and is filed under Rants, Serious. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.