Yes, I’m still putting off the story about the most retarted thing I’ve ever done. Just thought you’d like to know.

In the meanwhile, I’ve come to a realization. I don’t know about me. No seriously, read that sentence again. I’ve been focusing on nearly everything but myself. I’ll try to give you an idea of what I mean.

I was talking on the phone to my mom and she asked what I wanted for Christmas. I had just finished giving her a list of stuff that’d be great for Rachel, but I couldn’t think of anything I wanted. But that’s just superficial…

I don’t know how I feel about any current events. I don’t know how Cal is affecting me. I don’t know how work, relaxation, camp, or even Thanksgiving with the Tafts has affected me. I don’t know how I feel about life in general… or in specific.

So the question is what am I feeling? And beyond that, if I am content in not knowing… does it matter what is going on inside of me? Food for thought…

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